{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. Hosted by Soulemama.

Two Months Old, Already

subtitled: How Could I Choose Just One?

August 16, 2009

A Year Ago Today... We went to a baseball game. We stayed a night with my sister and brother-in-law, and saw a minor league game for their town's team. That's not their town anymore. They've moved even further away, across the state. We're planning another game with them now, in another town, a whole new adventure.
A Year Ago Today... We lived in our "old-old house". In less than a year's time we've moved twice. The first move was not so pleasant, the second was a dream come true. It's been interesting hearing the kids distinguish between the houses... which old house? :o)

A Year Ago Today... The outfits in these photos fit the children wearing them. They now fit their next younger siblings. How time does fly.

A Year Ago Today... The baby who is sound asleep next to me was not even a whisper in my ear. He wouldn't be conceived until the following month, his presence unknown to us on earth until the night of our first move (to our old house ;o)). And now here he is, a whole little person, a part of our life. I couldn't have known what the coming year would bring. I probably wouldn't have believed it if I did.

This Minute

I was just thinking about posting here, wondering where to start, to begin again, after so much change with no documentation, and I read my profile blurb. ...and loving every minute of it! With enthusiasm. When did I write that? Really, every minute? In theory sure, I love my life. The ups and downs, the battles and rewards. But every minute? Not really.
This minute right now for instance, not loving this minute I'm in.
The kids are getting ready for bed. I can't tell you how many times I've said "now go brush your teeth" in the last 10 minutes. Should I even have to say that anymore? I mean, they do it every night. You might think they'd remember and just do it again. It's been a long day. Doors are slamming as I type. Repeatedly. Over and over. Open and close. I don't have the energy to see why. The baby is strapped to me in a sling carrier, finally sleeping after a fussy evening. I smell like spit-up. My hair is a mess. I have on the same clothes as yesterday because a shower wasn't in the cards today, and these stretchy pants and over sized shirt are some of the only things that fit this post-partum frame of mine.
Did I pray today? Not really. I probably started to several times. My brain is a jumbled mess of to-do lists and unfinished thoughts, and somehow prayer, real prayer, has been relegated to a "when I have the time" status. I realize the danger of this, but haven't figured out a way to fix it. I teeter between exhaustion and elation, contentedness and overwhelmedness, sometimes hourly it seems. I live one day at a time, hour by hour, minute by minute, at times just surviving. At the end of the day I can look back and count successes, but many failures. I try not to succumb to guilt over the failures. Tomorrow is a new day.
Do I love my life? Of course. Just maybe not every minute of it.

A Baptism and a Birthday

In the Name of the Father...
And of the Son...
And of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Blake is 11 today. He's the awkward one in this picture. Oh wait... that could be any of them. He's the one on the left, enjoying a birthday ball game with his best-friend-since-they-were-four and some brothers, and several thousand other people.

Sebastian was baptized on Blake's birthday, wearing the same white garment, 11 years later. We are so blessed.

Oh Sweet, Sweet Sleep...

...how I miss you.

adjusting

this is what it looks like when i type now.
i use one finger. and it takes forever.
the problem is, i cant put this baby down.
i mean, i could.
but i don't want to.
lots of exciting things to write about though.
so i'll be back soon.
two handed.
maybe.

Thanks Be To God

He's here...

I Had to Check

Just got on here to make sure my baby widget isn't growing facial hair yet.

He can't stay in there forever, right? :o)

Quote of the Day

The thoughtless adult edition.


Random woman at grocery store: "Is this one a girl?!?"

Me, smiling: "Nope, another boy."

Her: "Oh, you poor woman! My friend had five boys and tried for one more. She got her girl and then got fixed! They were done!"

In front of my five listening sons.
She was quite satisfied that she got to tell me that story. She walked away smiling and all I could do was shake my head. Some people just don't get it.

On a better note, I'll be holding our sweet babe any day! Can. Not. Wait. :o)

To-Do List

• Write and send thank you notes for baby shower. check
• Get through first baseball game. done
• Stock pantry and freezer. check
• Prepare menu of simple dinners for babymoon. check
• Find/use the bathroom at every public place I'm at. double check
• Wash and put away baby clothes, carriers, blankets, etc. check
• Figure out how to work new stroller. check
• Put together swing. done
• Make children happy with one last trip up north. in the books
• Wash/assemble infant car seat cover. check
• Put swollen ankles up often. triple check
• Eat ice cream while I still can. you know this is checked
• Build bassinet. done
• Marvel at the tiny-ness of newborn-sized onesies and diapers. check
• Prepare 23-month-old for big brotherhood. uncheckable
• Pray. checked and checked again
• Deliver healthy baby. next on the list

A Baby Shower

the invitations and favors

I mentioned awhile back that Mr. Smith's brother and his wife had offered to throw us a baby shower. It was something I had mixed feelings over for a long time. I was super excited that they would go to such trouble to bless our baby with new things. It felt strange though, doing the whole thing all over again 11 years after the first time. I kept saying, "I'm too old to go set up a baby registry!" I know darn well I'm not too old, many women my age haven't even thought about kids yet, I just felt awkward doing it. I guess I also have a hard time letting people do things for me, and I really had to let go of that in order for the shower to happen.

Happen it did. It was wonderful. We have such generous friends and family, we got almost everything on our registry and then some. For example:

A beautiful wooden bassinet-- The one we have always used is the one that I slept in as a baby, as did all of my siblings. My oldest brother is 36. My mom had fixed it up for us when Blake was born, but it was still a rickety, wicker, slightly top-heavy bassinet. It made me quite nervous to think of curious little boys trying to peer in over the side of it... enough said.

A "travel system"-- A stroller and car seat set. I don't know if we were trying to register frugally the first time around, or if these things just weren't around 11 years ago, but our first stroller was an inexpensive single stroller and the car seat did not go with it. We used to set the car seat in it when we needed to, but it certainly didn't lock in... you get the picture.

A high chair-- Ours was an original that had been through all five boys. One leg was shorter than the others because the peg/lock system had gone awry years ago, and the straps had been misplaced and never found at least 2 babies ago. It was also clunky and awkward, taking up way too much space; and do you know they make high chairs now with this handy little removable tray cover that you can put in the dishwasher? Well they do, and now we have one.

We also received a second base for the car seat (never had one, always had to unbuckle/rebuckle), a new Boppy pillow (who wants to put a newborn on an 11-year-old pillow? they didn't make them with removable covers back then either), a travel swing/bouncer, a JJ Cole Bundle Me cover for the car seat (no more infant in an impossible-to-manage snowsuit), as well as new clothes, onesies, burp cloths, diapers, blankets and toys, and several gift cards to pick up whatever else we may need.

We could hardly believe how blessed we were. Now we just need a baby to use it all... Soon.

me and my sis

Today

Today was a long, difficult day.
I cried, hugged, and comforted, until I had nothing left to offer.
Today I watched a mother say goodbye to her daughter,
close the casket and walk away.
I am baffled,
by how it is that good people succumb to terrible things.
Today I prayed,
for the soul of a girl we called cousin,
and the ones she left behind.
And I begged the Lord for mercy.
Now mercifully,
Today is over,
and tomorrow is a new day.

A Contemplation

I woke this morning to the sound of Ave Maria drifting into my room from the piano. It was Blake, practicing for his part in our May Crowning today after Mass. He set his alarm early and got up on his own to go over it a few more times.

Such self-discipline.

Something I've been pondering lately. If you had asked me a few months ago I would have said I was adequately self-disciplined. I'm a conservative person, no wild tendencies, I give of myself in multiple directions daily. I'm not prone to spending binges, I attend Mass and Confession regularly, and hold my temper fairly well.

Is that enough?

I give of myself, to my husband, my kids, but do I really sacrifice? Do I know the meaning of the word? When was the last time I gave but didn't take? Gave up a comfort for a greater good?

Had Blake not been up and practicing, I would have stayed put in my bed for as long as I could get away with. In fact, staying in bed in the morning has become one of my main goals lately. Even at the expense of a smooth-running morning routine. I acknowledged long ago that I need to be up and functional well before the children in order for the morning to go well. Yet I don't make it a priority. Day after day I drag myself out of bed to find that the older boys are already busy playing a board game, or eating their cereal.


Yes, I am pregnant. Very pregnant.
Is that a worthy excuse?

How many women before me have been this pregnant, with challenges I can't even dream of, and still maintained the discipline of a good Christian woman?

Shall I talk about ice cream? I'm currently testing the limits on daily human consumption of it. Lately it's rainbow sherbet with Vernor's. I just finished off a package of 600 lb. Gorilla ice cream cookie sandwiches the other night. On Sunday, an entire pint of Haagen Dazs Caramel Cone. In. One. Sitting. I've told myself that I would sleep better were I not consuming an entire week's worth of sugar an hour before bedtime. I've told myself I should take a few days off from the ice cream and see how I feel. Then before I know it, I'm talking myself into getting a bowl, knowing that once the baby comes life will be different and ice cream will be off the daily menu.

Does pregnancy legitimize gluttony? Certainly not. So why the desire to constantly over-indulge? Not just a desire, but a giving in to the desire.

It's true that when you know more, more is expected of you. On this Christian journey, there is no perfection. There is no finish line, except the eternal one. Just because I'm a better Christian than I was a year ago, doesn't mean that's good enough.

Eating ice cream and sleeping in are not the greatest evils of this world. Complacency, however, is intolerable. I expect better from myself.

Quote of the Day

Peyton: "Mama, I can't believe that someone the size of Isaac is going to be a big brother in just a few weeks."

It's May

Go ahead. Ask me when I'm due.

Next month!

Good Shepherd Garden Party - Week Three

We finally celebrated our third Garden Party tonight. Once again, it was a really great meal that everyone enjoyed. It's so nice to eat something different, and incorporate scripture with it.our poster, after 3 weeks.
thunder and lightning (sort of. I substituted two cans of chicken for the chick peas, wanting to keep some protein in the meal and knowing my family would like that better. they did.)
rainbow fruit kabobs. beautiful AND delicious.
I decided on Sun Chips in place of the sun cupcakes, as we did the Hostess cupcakes for the wind.
the hail and the rain.
Isaac, enjoying his "wind".

Thanks again, Charlotte and Jessica!

Daybook: Post-First-Holy-Communion Edition

Outside my window... it's still on the chilly side, but sunny today. We had been praying for nice weather for the Communion party yesterday, banking on it actually, in order to allow for some overflow of people into the backyard. We invited more than our little house could comfortably hold and almost everyone came. It turned out to be dark, rainy, and chilly the entire day, no chance to be outside. I fretted plenty, but it turned out just fine.
Also, we just spotted a nest in the tree right outside our dining/school room windows. It's too high to see inside. We'll have to watch and see what bird visits it, looks like a robin's nest to me.

I am listening to... my body, it's telling me to slooooowww doooowwwnn. We've been so darn busy lately, and I really pushed myself the last week with Communion preparation, Catechism lessons (I teach Kindergarten and we only have 2 weeks left), soccer, and other things. It's all the good, fulfilling things in this mom's life, but now that some things are winding down it's time for me to try to do the same. Daily life isn't going to get any simpler, but at 33+ weeks pregnant I need to be realistic about what can be done, and take a little time to put my feet up.

I am wearing... comfortable clothes. Still recovering from the skirt I wore yesterday, which was the opposite of comfortable.

I am thinking... that readying the house for the Communion party was exactly what we needed right now. We purged and organized, rearranged and decluttered. It's far from perfect, but so much better than it was. We just needed the motivation to get it done, and apparently 20+ guests is pretty good motivation.

I am looking forward to... this baby. A good friend just delivered her little girl on Tuesday, and I'm starting to realize how close I am to that point. I just can't wait to hold him in my arms.

I am thankful for... good friends. I've got the best one ever. When I told her the theme was Mexican food for the party she offered to make the meat for the tacos. She brought it over ahead of time in a crock pot (it was delicious, by the way), came to Mass with her boys, helped me prep the food when we got back to the house, and then stayed later than anyone and washed my dishes so I wouldn't have to. It doesn't get much better than that.

I am praying... for someone close to me who is removed from the Faith. I pray for grace and wisdom for myself, to understand my place in her life and find a balance between compassion and diligence.

I am creating... plans for next year. Another school year with a new baby in the house. I'm planning to combine studies for some of the children, more so than ever, especially in Science and History. It's going to take careful planning.

I am going... to enjoy watching 24 with Mr. Smith tonight. I feel like I can relax for the first time in a while. The season is winding down (the whole series really, since this is the last season) and it should be an enjoyable episode tonight.

One of my favorite things... a baby's first words. Even if they're more toddler than baby at the time. He's still not talking regularly, but Isaac has picked up a few words that he'll say with prompting. Mama is still the favorite. Especially when he looks right at me with those big blue eyes and says it. He also says Dada, uh-oh, ow, and oof. I count oof as a word, #1 because five words is better than four, and #2 because he says it so purposefully, deliberately, and appropriately, every time. It means "I just stepped down from that chair and hit the ground a little harder than I expected" or "That hotwheels car just jumped off of a table and this is the sound it made when it hit the floor", and also, my favorite, "I'm bumping into one of my brothers on purpose, repeatedly, and this is the sound of the physical toll it's taking on my body". So as you can see, it's a big part of our budding vocabulary, and a perfectly legitimate word.

Around the house... I'm feeling pretty good about it for the first time in quite awhile. Many of the bigger projects have been done. Now it's time to implement a good maintenance routine and stick to it.

From the kitchen... leftovers! I love that Owen wanted Mexican food for his Communion party, as it made for good leftovers that no one will complain about.

From the school room... we're back into a pretty decent routine. This time of year can be hard, especially when I'm already planning for next year. The grass is always greener on the other side of summer, but we're putting our noses to the grindstone to finish up this year's work.

A few plans for the rest of the week...
-two soccer practices and a game
-Owen's first baseball practice
-piano lessons
-homeschool gym
-an OB appointment for me and Baby
-week three of The Good Shepherd's Garden Party (and then week four, I'm hoping)

A picture thought to share... or several. I am so proud of Owen and his faith and excitement over receiving the Holy Eucharist. He was very grateful for his party, received lots of nice gifts, and is already talking about the next time he gets to receive at Mass. It was a beautiful day.

our prayer table, specially geared toward Owen on his special day. the empty corner on the right held his basket of jellybean-filled favors for his guests. we moved it after the third time Isaac pulled it down and stuffed his mouth full of candy.

Owen and Father Joe, our beloved priest, after Mass

a less-than-perfect family photo

Visit Peggy at The Simple Woman for more Daybook entries.

Good Shepherd Garden Party - Week Two

For week two we kept it pretty simple. The boys gathered some candles and statues to decorate the table, and we simplified some of the suggested menu items. bread
fruit

sparkling white grape juice

(everyone loved this! sorry for the terrible picture!)

honey and milk

(I think we need to tone down our flash a little)

I put out the milk and honey just to have the symbols present at the table, but my family ended up putting a bit of each onto their fruit salads and loving it. I served everything with a chicken breast salad as the main course. It went together nicely and was quite a lovely meal!

our poster after week two

We are really enjoying these parties, and it's true that for busy families once a week is much more manageable.

Owen is making his First Holy Communion today! So our week three celebration is being put off until mid-week, as we get ready for company to celebrate today.

Good Shepherd Garden Party - Week One

It's been almost two weeks since we had our week one party, but life has been busy. Here are some pictures:

disclaimer #1- I do not have a spectacular camera.

disclaimer #2- Blake takes a lot of the pictures that I post here.

disclaimer #3- My children made most of this food themselves

ewe cupcakes
ram cupcakes

graham cracker gates

lamb's wool

our Good Shepherd poster, homemade, thanks to Charlotte

We also made the Mini Shepherd Pies and the Shepherd's Crooks, but they weren't exactly pretty and I don't have a good picture of them. It made for a delicious and fun meal.

Week Two post coming soon!