A Birthday Letter

Dear Isaac,

Today, you are one.

A year ago right now, I nursed you and I cried.

I cried at the injustice of the way you came into this world. With mourning, over those hours we couldn't get back. The things I couldn't fix.

I nursed you, with my hand cupped over that bump. Praying, blessing, regretting.

Days went by, and weeks. Not knowing what the result would be, I prayed, and I loved you.

I fell in love with your quiet nature, and I hoped.

Then, one day, it was a little better. And the next, better still. And so on, until I seemed to be the only one who knew it had been there.

Soon there were days that I didn't even cry, but none where I didn't remember.

It wasn't perfect, it wasn't ideal, that first part of your blessed little life. But it was ours.

Yours and mine.

We went through it, and got through it, together.

Now today, I nurse you, and I cry again.

I cry at God's mercy, and His plan. With joy, over His presence in our lives. For He brought us together, He gave us our story, He guides us when we are lost.

And this, I learned through you.

My dear, sweet Isaac.

Thank you.

God Bless You, Olivia

Fishing

Yesterday was a beautiful day.Lots of sunshine.

Still cool though, sweatshirt and jeans weather, my favorite.

All the boys wanted to do was go fishing.
All Isaac wanted to do was hang out with me.And that's what we did. The end.

A New Chapter

Well, my sister is all married off, and happily sunning herself somewhere tropical.


The shower is planned and executed. The coffee maker is in it's place.


The bachelorette party, behind us.


The rehearsal, in the books.


Rehearsal dinner, digested.


The vows are said. The kiss is kissed.


The rice is thrown. (we didn't really have rice, but that would have been fun.)

The license, signed.

The rug has been cut. Look, here's proof:
The bouquet, thrown. (or so I'm told. I was nursing my nursling.)
It was beautiful. It was memorable. It was truly blessed.
I can't wait to see the video.
It was also...all-consuming.
I woke up the next morning and thought to myself, "Self, what are you going to think about now? You fit into your dress, your speech was acceptable, your children survived. You have to remember what reality was like now."
Then I remembered. Reality is a teething baby.
You can't get more real than that, can you?
Isaac has been a unique teether. They've come in on their own time, but mostly, in a goofy way. More have cut, and as they come in he'll look more...normal. Normal is boring though. Unique? Memorable.
So I wanted to be sure and document the way they are now.
And I'll show you.
If you're ready.
Are you?
Brace yourself...

So it's back to reality. And I'm more than alright with that.

Oh beautiful, blessed day

More pictures to come...

Which is LESS Reasonable?

Spring cleaning has brought to my attention the fact that we have far too many shoes as a family.

Everyday life has brought to my attention the fact that our baby is obnoxiously cute.

Both situations defy reason.

Both leave me wondering how it is that we arrived at this point.

To remedy this:
There's a large garbage bag and a box labeled 'donations'.

What on earth can be done about this?:

Lord, help us.

(and p.s.--thank you)

And then it was Easter

I so wanted to get a picture of our whole family, as we never seem to do that anymore.
So these are it, the only two shots we got. Can you read the disappointment in my voice?I'd just like to take a minute to point out a few things, observations, if you will:
1.) Could Mr. Smith and I not just be copied and pasted from one to the next? Apparently we both felt those were acceptable expressions and postures.
2.) Why wasn't I more concerned with smiling?
3.) Isaac is much cuter awake than asleep.
4.) I really need to practice a photo face with Owen.
5.) Blake is, by far, our most obedient child.
6.) It doesn't matter the circumstances, Oliver is ALWAYS cute.
Last, but not least, the whole reason I even dared to post these pictures, because it makes me laugh every time I look....let's concentrate on Peyton. I distinctly remember Mr. Smith scolding him after the first shot. I couldn't see what he was doing at the time, but now it's clear that he was showing his excitement over finally remembering to bring his holy water bottle to fill from the font. I think he took it hard when he was told to stand still.
So it was not a successful photo shoot, but it was Easter Sunday just the same. The much longed-for Alleluia was as beautiful as ever. The Lord is risen. The desert of Lent has given way to the glory of the Easter season, and we will celebrate all 50 days of it.

If I had been posting...

...surely it would have been about our Last Supper dinner at Grandma's:

and our Holy Thursday art project:Or our Hot Cross Buns on Good Friday morning:and probably about how Isaac figured out how to empty a cupboard in 3 minutes flat: But alas, rotten apples it was.

I don't get it.

If someone were going to abandon their blog, why would they do so on the rotten apple post?
Kind of leaves a sour taste in the mouth...

Yummy

Last night Mr. Smith said, "I'm going to the store to get some food for tomorrow."

Maybe it was because I didn't want him to leave. Maybe it was because my pride wished I had gotten groceries so there would be food in the house for my hard-working husband. Whatever the reason, I said, "Oh Honey, there's enough here to get you through the day! We have bologna for a sandwich...you could put these frozen berries in your oatmeal...there's a...you can...we..."...nothing. "Wait! Here's an apple!"

To which he replied, "Is that even still good?"

To which I replied, "Sure! It looks fine."

He looked at me doubtfully, and headed for the store.

Today, I thought of Mr. Smith, with all his fresh fruits and veggies at work, when I grabbed the apple to slice it up for the kids with lunch.

This is what I saw:

Well I couldn't tell that from the outside.

Summer Resolutions

1. Soak up the Vitamin D
2. Wear more skirts
3. Cause a groove in the sidewalk of stroller wheel tracks between here and the park.
Most importantly: Spend lots of time with Mr. Smith.

What's wrong with this picture?

"Big brother, could I please have my walker back?"

A Quiz

You Are Blooming Flowers

You are an optimistic person by nature. In even the darkest times, you are hopeful about the future. You feel truly blessed in life and can sometimes be overwhelmed with emotions. You have an artist's eye. You are always looking for beauty in the mundane. You have a good sense of aesthetics, especially when it comes to shapes and color.

What Part of Spring Are You?

Super Woman?

I just simultaneously:

• ate a healthy breakfast
• gave a fourth grade spelling test
• directed a first grade spelling worksheet
• drilled a 5 year old on his addition flash cards
• encouraged the making of a masterpiece (a picture of a "rocket ship") by a 3 year old
• remained calm

The key? The baby is napping.

Puffs

...thank you God-Mama.

Look what I can do!

The boys called me into the room, frantic over what Isaac was doing. Trying not to panic, I raced in, to see this:
I think he's quite proud of himself.

Is it Spring yet?

I don't even know how to define it anymore.
There have been running noses,
coughing,
throwing up,
terms from doctors like flu,
no, bronchitis,
or pneumonia,
more coughing,
and today,
more throwing up and...
a fever.
My kitchen counter
looks like
a pharmacy counter.
It has been weeks,
and weeks,
since I could say we were all healthy,
and still,
no end in sight.

Five Things That Happened While My Blog Was Sleeping

1. Peyton turned 5!

2. Owen turned 7!

3. Isaac learned some new tricks.

4. Peyton broke his arm. :o(

5. Peyton turned into a superstar with a red cast, carrying a sharpie with him everywhere to let people sign it--everyone from friends, to friends' moms, to Father Joe!

Chivalry is not dead

I had to go to the secretary of state yesterday to take care of a few things for the new van. I wanted to get it out of the way during the day, so as not to eat up our precious family time once Mr. Smith is home. This meant taking all the kids with me.

That doesn't freak me out the way one might think it would. It keeps me on my toes, having them in a public place for an unknown length of time, but it's part of my job and I try to embrace it. I even sometimes hope to be a good witness for our lifestyle, giving glory to God for the blessing of a big family and well-behaved children. Sometimes.

I noticed right away that they were busier than usual. I had had pretty good luck the last few times there, in and out in 20 minutes or so. This would not be the case and I braced myself. We took a number -- 39. I surveyed the room and saw there was no way we could sit in the rows of chairs provided for waiting; there weren't more than two open in a row in the whole bunch. (A young guy who had walked in right in front of me thought twice before sitting and offered me his single chair. I resisted the urge to ask him what good that was going to do me :o) - he was trying to be nice.)

I spotted a chair against the far wall, away from the crowd, where the employees come and go (they may or may not have glared at me several times while weaving through my kids in those comings and goings). I actually had enough pens in my purse for all of the boys, and with a deposit slip each from the back of my checkbook, they settled in across the floor.

I thought, okay, 39, so what number are we on?...I looked around for the screen and finally found it above my head on the wall behind us...5. Wow. This could get ugly. The kids were doing well though, and 20 minutes later, when they were on number 14, I still wasn't panicking. Concerned? Yes. Panicking? Not yet.

That's when he walked over to me. A middle-age-ish man with a clipboard and kind eyes. He asked me what number I had, and I told him. He said, "Here, I've got 26, trade with me and we'll get you out of here a little quicker."

Can you believe it?! My heart soared, with gratitude toward this kind soul, and hope for humanity in general.

I got through the line, out to the van, and nursed the baby before I saw him leave after waiting out his new number. I've said many prayers for this thoughtful stranger, that he be rewarded for his selflessness. I'll not soon forget the one who reminded me that there are good people in this world.