Oh Sweet, Sweet Sleep...

...how I miss you.

adjusting

this is what it looks like when i type now.
i use one finger. and it takes forever.
the problem is, i cant put this baby down.
i mean, i could.
but i don't want to.
lots of exciting things to write about though.
so i'll be back soon.
two handed.
maybe.

Thanks Be To God

He's here...

I Had to Check

Just got on here to make sure my baby widget isn't growing facial hair yet.

He can't stay in there forever, right? :o)

Quote of the Day

The thoughtless adult edition.


Random woman at grocery store: "Is this one a girl?!?"

Me, smiling: "Nope, another boy."

Her: "Oh, you poor woman! My friend had five boys and tried for one more. She got her girl and then got fixed! They were done!"

In front of my five listening sons.
She was quite satisfied that she got to tell me that story. She walked away smiling and all I could do was shake my head. Some people just don't get it.

On a better note, I'll be holding our sweet babe any day! Can. Not. Wait. :o)

To-Do List

• Write and send thank you notes for baby shower. check
• Get through first baseball game. done
• Stock pantry and freezer. check
• Prepare menu of simple dinners for babymoon. check
• Find/use the bathroom at every public place I'm at. double check
• Wash and put away baby clothes, carriers, blankets, etc. check
• Figure out how to work new stroller. check
• Put together swing. done
• Make children happy with one last trip up north. in the books
• Wash/assemble infant car seat cover. check
• Put swollen ankles up often. triple check
• Eat ice cream while I still can. you know this is checked
• Build bassinet. done
• Marvel at the tiny-ness of newborn-sized onesies and diapers. check
• Prepare 23-month-old for big brotherhood. uncheckable
• Pray. checked and checked again
• Deliver healthy baby. next on the list

A Baby Shower

the invitations and favors

I mentioned awhile back that Mr. Smith's brother and his wife had offered to throw us a baby shower. It was something I had mixed feelings over for a long time. I was super excited that they would go to such trouble to bless our baby with new things. It felt strange though, doing the whole thing all over again 11 years after the first time. I kept saying, "I'm too old to go set up a baby registry!" I know darn well I'm not too old, many women my age haven't even thought about kids yet, I just felt awkward doing it. I guess I also have a hard time letting people do things for me, and I really had to let go of that in order for the shower to happen.

Happen it did. It was wonderful. We have such generous friends and family, we got almost everything on our registry and then some. For example:

A beautiful wooden bassinet-- The one we have always used is the one that I slept in as a baby, as did all of my siblings. My oldest brother is 36. My mom had fixed it up for us when Blake was born, but it was still a rickety, wicker, slightly top-heavy bassinet. It made me quite nervous to think of curious little boys trying to peer in over the side of it... enough said.

A "travel system"-- A stroller and car seat set. I don't know if we were trying to register frugally the first time around, or if these things just weren't around 11 years ago, but our first stroller was an inexpensive single stroller and the car seat did not go with it. We used to set the car seat in it when we needed to, but it certainly didn't lock in... you get the picture.

A high chair-- Ours was an original that had been through all five boys. One leg was shorter than the others because the peg/lock system had gone awry years ago, and the straps had been misplaced and never found at least 2 babies ago. It was also clunky and awkward, taking up way too much space; and do you know they make high chairs now with this handy little removable tray cover that you can put in the dishwasher? Well they do, and now we have one.

We also received a second base for the car seat (never had one, always had to unbuckle/rebuckle), a new Boppy pillow (who wants to put a newborn on an 11-year-old pillow? they didn't make them with removable covers back then either), a travel swing/bouncer, a JJ Cole Bundle Me cover for the car seat (no more infant in an impossible-to-manage snowsuit), as well as new clothes, onesies, burp cloths, diapers, blankets and toys, and several gift cards to pick up whatever else we may need.

We could hardly believe how blessed we were. Now we just need a baby to use it all... Soon.

me and my sis

Today

Today was a long, difficult day.
I cried, hugged, and comforted, until I had nothing left to offer.
Today I watched a mother say goodbye to her daughter,
close the casket and walk away.
I am baffled,
by how it is that good people succumb to terrible things.
Today I prayed,
for the soul of a girl we called cousin,
and the ones she left behind.
And I begged the Lord for mercy.
Now mercifully,
Today is over,
and tomorrow is a new day.

A Contemplation

I woke this morning to the sound of Ave Maria drifting into my room from the piano. It was Blake, practicing for his part in our May Crowning today after Mass. He set his alarm early and got up on his own to go over it a few more times.

Such self-discipline.

Something I've been pondering lately. If you had asked me a few months ago I would have said I was adequately self-disciplined. I'm a conservative person, no wild tendencies, I give of myself in multiple directions daily. I'm not prone to spending binges, I attend Mass and Confession regularly, and hold my temper fairly well.

Is that enough?

I give of myself, to my husband, my kids, but do I really sacrifice? Do I know the meaning of the word? When was the last time I gave but didn't take? Gave up a comfort for a greater good?

Had Blake not been up and practicing, I would have stayed put in my bed for as long as I could get away with. In fact, staying in bed in the morning has become one of my main goals lately. Even at the expense of a smooth-running morning routine. I acknowledged long ago that I need to be up and functional well before the children in order for the morning to go well. Yet I don't make it a priority. Day after day I drag myself out of bed to find that the older boys are already busy playing a board game, or eating their cereal.


Yes, I am pregnant. Very pregnant.
Is that a worthy excuse?

How many women before me have been this pregnant, with challenges I can't even dream of, and still maintained the discipline of a good Christian woman?

Shall I talk about ice cream? I'm currently testing the limits on daily human consumption of it. Lately it's rainbow sherbet with Vernor's. I just finished off a package of 600 lb. Gorilla ice cream cookie sandwiches the other night. On Sunday, an entire pint of Haagen Dazs Caramel Cone. In. One. Sitting. I've told myself that I would sleep better were I not consuming an entire week's worth of sugar an hour before bedtime. I've told myself I should take a few days off from the ice cream and see how I feel. Then before I know it, I'm talking myself into getting a bowl, knowing that once the baby comes life will be different and ice cream will be off the daily menu.

Does pregnancy legitimize gluttony? Certainly not. So why the desire to constantly over-indulge? Not just a desire, but a giving in to the desire.

It's true that when you know more, more is expected of you. On this Christian journey, there is no perfection. There is no finish line, except the eternal one. Just because I'm a better Christian than I was a year ago, doesn't mean that's good enough.

Eating ice cream and sleeping in are not the greatest evils of this world. Complacency, however, is intolerable. I expect better from myself.

Quote of the Day

Peyton: "Mama, I can't believe that someone the size of Isaac is going to be a big brother in just a few weeks."

It's May

Go ahead. Ask me when I'm due.

Next month!

Good Shepherd Garden Party - Week Three

We finally celebrated our third Garden Party tonight. Once again, it was a really great meal that everyone enjoyed. It's so nice to eat something different, and incorporate scripture with it.our poster, after 3 weeks.
thunder and lightning (sort of. I substituted two cans of chicken for the chick peas, wanting to keep some protein in the meal and knowing my family would like that better. they did.)
rainbow fruit kabobs. beautiful AND delicious.
I decided on Sun Chips in place of the sun cupcakes, as we did the Hostess cupcakes for the wind.
the hail and the rain.
Isaac, enjoying his "wind".

Thanks again, Charlotte and Jessica!

Daybook: Post-First-Holy-Communion Edition

Outside my window... it's still on the chilly side, but sunny today. We had been praying for nice weather for the Communion party yesterday, banking on it actually, in order to allow for some overflow of people into the backyard. We invited more than our little house could comfortably hold and almost everyone came. It turned out to be dark, rainy, and chilly the entire day, no chance to be outside. I fretted plenty, but it turned out just fine.
Also, we just spotted a nest in the tree right outside our dining/school room windows. It's too high to see inside. We'll have to watch and see what bird visits it, looks like a robin's nest to me.

I am listening to... my body, it's telling me to slooooowww doooowwwnn. We've been so darn busy lately, and I really pushed myself the last week with Communion preparation, Catechism lessons (I teach Kindergarten and we only have 2 weeks left), soccer, and other things. It's all the good, fulfilling things in this mom's life, but now that some things are winding down it's time for me to try to do the same. Daily life isn't going to get any simpler, but at 33+ weeks pregnant I need to be realistic about what can be done, and take a little time to put my feet up.

I am wearing... comfortable clothes. Still recovering from the skirt I wore yesterday, which was the opposite of comfortable.

I am thinking... that readying the house for the Communion party was exactly what we needed right now. We purged and organized, rearranged and decluttered. It's far from perfect, but so much better than it was. We just needed the motivation to get it done, and apparently 20+ guests is pretty good motivation.

I am looking forward to... this baby. A good friend just delivered her little girl on Tuesday, and I'm starting to realize how close I am to that point. I just can't wait to hold him in my arms.

I am thankful for... good friends. I've got the best one ever. When I told her the theme was Mexican food for the party she offered to make the meat for the tacos. She brought it over ahead of time in a crock pot (it was delicious, by the way), came to Mass with her boys, helped me prep the food when we got back to the house, and then stayed later than anyone and washed my dishes so I wouldn't have to. It doesn't get much better than that.

I am praying... for someone close to me who is removed from the Faith. I pray for grace and wisdom for myself, to understand my place in her life and find a balance between compassion and diligence.

I am creating... plans for next year. Another school year with a new baby in the house. I'm planning to combine studies for some of the children, more so than ever, especially in Science and History. It's going to take careful planning.

I am going... to enjoy watching 24 with Mr. Smith tonight. I feel like I can relax for the first time in a while. The season is winding down (the whole series really, since this is the last season) and it should be an enjoyable episode tonight.

One of my favorite things... a baby's first words. Even if they're more toddler than baby at the time. He's still not talking regularly, but Isaac has picked up a few words that he'll say with prompting. Mama is still the favorite. Especially when he looks right at me with those big blue eyes and says it. He also says Dada, uh-oh, ow, and oof. I count oof as a word, #1 because five words is better than four, and #2 because he says it so purposefully, deliberately, and appropriately, every time. It means "I just stepped down from that chair and hit the ground a little harder than I expected" or "That hotwheels car just jumped off of a table and this is the sound it made when it hit the floor", and also, my favorite, "I'm bumping into one of my brothers on purpose, repeatedly, and this is the sound of the physical toll it's taking on my body". So as you can see, it's a big part of our budding vocabulary, and a perfectly legitimate word.

Around the house... I'm feeling pretty good about it for the first time in quite awhile. Many of the bigger projects have been done. Now it's time to implement a good maintenance routine and stick to it.

From the kitchen... leftovers! I love that Owen wanted Mexican food for his Communion party, as it made for good leftovers that no one will complain about.

From the school room... we're back into a pretty decent routine. This time of year can be hard, especially when I'm already planning for next year. The grass is always greener on the other side of summer, but we're putting our noses to the grindstone to finish up this year's work.

A few plans for the rest of the week...
-two soccer practices and a game
-Owen's first baseball practice
-piano lessons
-homeschool gym
-an OB appointment for me and Baby
-week three of The Good Shepherd's Garden Party (and then week four, I'm hoping)

A picture thought to share... or several. I am so proud of Owen and his faith and excitement over receiving the Holy Eucharist. He was very grateful for his party, received lots of nice gifts, and is already talking about the next time he gets to receive at Mass. It was a beautiful day.

our prayer table, specially geared toward Owen on his special day. the empty corner on the right held his basket of jellybean-filled favors for his guests. we moved it after the third time Isaac pulled it down and stuffed his mouth full of candy.

Owen and Father Joe, our beloved priest, after Mass

a less-than-perfect family photo

Visit Peggy at The Simple Woman for more Daybook entries.

Good Shepherd Garden Party - Week Two

For week two we kept it pretty simple. The boys gathered some candles and statues to decorate the table, and we simplified some of the suggested menu items. bread
fruit

sparkling white grape juice

(everyone loved this! sorry for the terrible picture!)

honey and milk

(I think we need to tone down our flash a little)

I put out the milk and honey just to have the symbols present at the table, but my family ended up putting a bit of each onto their fruit salads and loving it. I served everything with a chicken breast salad as the main course. It went together nicely and was quite a lovely meal!

our poster after week two

We are really enjoying these parties, and it's true that for busy families once a week is much more manageable.

Owen is making his First Holy Communion today! So our week three celebration is being put off until mid-week, as we get ready for company to celebrate today.

Good Shepherd Garden Party - Week One

It's been almost two weeks since we had our week one party, but life has been busy. Here are some pictures:

disclaimer #1- I do not have a spectacular camera.

disclaimer #2- Blake takes a lot of the pictures that I post here.

disclaimer #3- My children made most of this food themselves

ewe cupcakes
ram cupcakes

graham cracker gates

lamb's wool

our Good Shepherd poster, homemade, thanks to Charlotte

We also made the Mini Shepherd Pies and the Shepherd's Crooks, but they weren't exactly pretty and I don't have a good picture of them. It made for a delicious and fun meal.

Week Two post coming soon!

Opening Day

The boys were excited that our local team's home opener was going to be a 1:00pm televised game. I decided to run out a pick up a few things for a special "ballpark" lunch.Root beer, nachos, cracker jacks, and, of course, hotdogs.
The National Anthem
Go Team!

A Love Letter

Dear Mr. Smith,
Even though we are grown-ups,
and not in 7th grade anymore,
I still think,
you're pretty hot,
when you play hockey.
Your Devoted Wife,
Mrs. Smith

A four-year-old's version...

...of closing up the chips and putting them away.

Daybook: April 6, 2010

Outside my window... it's a bit gloomy today, but in a spring break kind of way. The windows are open and it smells like rain. We had errands and appointments this morning, and the cool wetness outside makes me feel alright about the boys watching a movie and relaxing right now.

I am listening to... said movie. It's actually pretty cute, if you can get past the chipmunk voices.

I am wearing... my favorite maternity jeans and a black v-neck short sleeved top. I used to be able to wear this shirt in my ninth month, but it's fitting pretty snugly right now. And only 9 weeks to go :o).

I am thinking... that I could use a nap.

I am looking forward to... spring sports. The boys are all getting so excited. Peyton has his first soccer practice tonight. Owen has been practicing his baseball in the yard with Mr. Smith, we're still waiting to hear from his coach. We're contemplating a hockey class that we just heard about. Then there's kickball in the park on Saturdays with our homeschool group.

I am thankful... for passing milestones. The appointment we had this morning was not a pleasant one, but it's over, we survived, and I'm so relieved. Moving on.

I am praying... the Divine Mercy Novena. Have I ever mentioned how much I love our Faith?

I am creating... that knitted yellow baby blanket, still. I've been pulling it out every night and have actually made some progress on it. It helps to picture our new little bundle wrapped up in it, there's no motivation quite like that :o).

I am going... to finish up my guest list and register for our baby shower THIS WEEK. It's less than 6 weeks away already. Did I mention that my BIL and SIL are throwing us a shower? So excited about that.

One of my favorite things... being pregnant. Good thing, huh?

Around the house... things are starting to look better. The nesting tendency helps. Mr. Smith brought down the boys' summer clothes, now I just need to get them sorted and into drawers.

From the kitchen... needing some inspiration in this department. Time to get out the recipe box and play around with the menu.

From the school room... we'll start the plans for The Good Shepherd's Garden Parties that these awesome ladies came up with. I love the food ideas, and celebrating once a week is simply genius, as anything that has to be everyday never goes quite as planned over here.

A few plans for the rest of the week...
-piano lessons

-visit from Grandma
-register for the shower

-get back into a school routine (Thursday?)

-first week of The Good Shepherd's Garden Party

-go see Mr. Smith play hockey

-confession on Saturday

-complete Divine Mercy Novena


A picture thought to share...

Our St. Joseph Altar - March 19th, 2010

Visit Peggy at The Simple Woman for more Daybook entries.

Please forgive me...

...if you saw me bathing in the holy water and dancing to the alleluias today. I couldn't help myself :o).
God bless your Easter season!

A Step in the Right Direction

Guess which little man has been babbling all day, saying "mama mama mama" every time I come near him?
Music to this Mama's ears.

Daybook: March 30th, 2010

Outside my window... it's still chilly, but it's supposed to be almost 60 by this afternoon. Then it just gets better and better all week. By Friday-- 80 --I can't wait.

I am listening to... the boys working on their economics lesson. Alright, alright, they're playing monopoly. Same thing.

I am wearing... I'm almost embarrassed to say that I'm wearing the exact same thing as last week. What can I say? It's Tuesday again, a day for staying home, catching up, and housework. It's a comfortable outfit.

I am thinking... about that housework. So far this morning I've done a good job of avoiding it. I plan to immerse myself in dishes and laundry when Isaac goes down for his nap.

I am looking forward to... Easter. I appreciate Lent for what it is, and am so grateful for our Liturgical year. We need these times in the desert in order to appreciate the Alleluias. Still, I'm ready for Easter. New beginnings and fresh starts.

I am thankful... for Mr. Smith. I've bitten off way more than I can chew lately and he's picked up my slack without complaining. Let me tell you, he makes a mean batch of banana pancakes (that was dinner last night).

I am praying... for Isaac. At 21.5 months he still isn't speaking. Not a single word. His doctor is concerned, and ordered an evaluation for speech delay. They do this at 2 years, so we have a few months of praying for improvement ahead of us.

I am creating... a baby. Truly exhausting work.

I am going... to get to work finalizing our Holy Week plans. I have a pretty good idea of what we're doing already, but I only want to make one more trip to the store before Easter. So I need a good solid list before I go.

One of my favorite things... is being involved in things at church. When I was a kid I never felt like I was a part of the community, I guess because we didn't attend with any regularity. It would never have occurred to me that you could have a conversation with a priest. It is so different for my kids and I am so happy about that. On Friday, Blake and I will be part of the women and children at the eighth station during the living Stations of the Cross. It's a really beautiful production and I'm glad we were asked to be a part of it.

Around the house... hmmmm. Well, it's not pretty, but I refuse to reference housework any more in this post.

From the kitchen... Tonight- chicken and broccoli stir fry. Then lots of special foods for Holy Week. I'll try to post as we celebrate.

From the school room... just the basics right now. We have a few lap books that we need to wrap up, but we've been taking it easy for awhile. We'll have to get back on track after Easter.

A few plans for the rest of the week...
-homeschool gym
-piano lessons
-finish the school room makeover
-COFFEE OUT WITH A DEAR FRIEND (special attention completely necessary on this one)
-Holy Thursday Mass
-Stations of the Cross
-finish Easter shopping
-Easter Sunday celebration

A picture thought to share...

before:

after:
Baby's first haircut. :o(

Visit Peggy at The Simple Woman for more daybook entries.

If you blog it, they will solve it.

It was 4:00 this morning. The thing was beeping. I was squeezing my eyes shut, hoping to get back to sleep and forget I had been disturbed.
That's when Mr. Smith went barrelling out to the living room (in his unmentionables), determined to put an end to it. Straight to the toy box (I was right). He picked up a hand-held electronic sudoku game. A game I had held in my very own hand just hours earlier, an offering of busyness to a fidgety 21-month-old. He pressed a button. The beeping stopped.
Never in a million years would I have thought that that game would have an alarm on it. Why would you need an alarm? To remind you to play your daily sudoku?
Mystery solved.

The Mystery of the 4:00am Alarm

There's something in my house. It's an alarm. Or a watch, or toy, clock, stopwatch, or electronic device of some sort.
For approximately one week it has been going off in the vicinity of 4:00am. The vicinity of it's location, however, is completely unknown. Mr. Smith was certain it was under the couch, but a thorough search yesterday evening proved otherwise. I thought (and still think) that it's in the toy box or surrounding area, but we haven't been able to pinpoint it.
The problem is that at four o'clock in the morning we are all too asleep to track it down. It beeps for about a minute and then stops, and I go back to sleep, vowing once again that today is the day I will figure it out.
I thought I had it-- this morning I determined, in my half-asleep state, that it was the same beeping sound my kitchen timer makes. The boys assure me that there is no way to set that timer to go off at daily intervals. I concede.
There's no telling how long this could go on.

Daybook: March 23rd, 2010

Outside my window... after last night's cold rain, it promises to be warm and sunny today. I can just see the sun trying to peek through the clouds.

I am listening to... children talking about spring. We've got the fever over here.

I am wearing... black yoga pants, berry-colored maternity top. Mr. Smith got me a gift card for Christmas and I walked out of the store with this top in four different colors. It's comfy and perfect for everyday, I just rotate my way through the colors. Does that make me really practical, or lame and boring?

I am thinking... that the snowflake cut-outs on the windows in front of me need to go. Maybe we'll do some butterflies today.

I am looking forward to... warm days. We have an enclosed porch on this tiny house, and being able to leave the front door open feels like it doubles our living space. The boys go out there to build legos or play board games or marbles. It's been too cold, but the day is coming soon, very soon.

I am thankful... for healthy pregnancies. It's hard enough without complications. I've been feeling so good lately I can't help but be thankful that I've been blessed with fertility and health.

I am praying... for so many, but right now, for us. That God's will is clear, that He leads us where He wants us to be. For secure and fulfilling employment for Mr. Smith.

I am creating... a baby blanket. It's a simple, knitted, yellow blanket, and I'm about halfway through. Oh, and I started it when I was pregnant with James :o). Hoping to finish it before this little guy comes.

I am going... to a store. Sigh. The sleeves on Blake's spring jacket hit his arms somewhere between the elbows and the wrists. He's also outgrown all of his underwear and socks. Mr. Smith and I are noticing that suddenly there seems to be another adult in the house, in lots of ways. Sigh.

One of my favorite things... organic coffee.

Around the house... we've been here almost six months. It's time to finish up a few things. I spent Saturday sewing curtains for the porch. I need to turn the white cloth that's draped on the window above my kitchen sink into a proper curtain. And there's really no excuse for the three boxes of books and odds and ends still sitting here.

From the kitchen... still preparing every. single. thing. that this family of seven puts into their mouths. Giving up fast food and carry-out of any kind for Lent has proven more difficult than I had anticipated. 12 days to go. (note to Mr. Smith- No need to comment on the fact that I do not actually make your lunch for you. And yes, you made dinner for me on Saturday, thank you.)

From the school room... oh boy, the school room. Yikes. After a few crazy weeks of lots of appointments, group activities, out of state traveling, feast days, and more, we're really playing catch up. We need a total overhaul of the books and learning supplies, and a fresh outlook for our last two months of schooling.

A few plans for the rest of the week...

-homeschool gym

-piano lessons

-school room makeover

-first walk to the park for the season

-trip to Target

-well visit check-ups for two boys

-homeschool group moms' meeting

A picture thought to share...
I got nothin'. Maybe I'll get Blake to pull the vacation photos off of his camera.

Visit Peggy at The Simple Woman for more daybook entries.

Quick Question

Does an eggplant really weigh 25 lbs.?

Huh.

I never knew that.

A Birthday Letter

Dear Peyton, You are a joy.
Your smile lights up the room. And warms my heart.
Your silliness is contagious.

Thank you for being a goofball.
Thank you for making us laugh.

Thank you for being you.

God bless you.

On your 6th birthday, and always.

Love,

Mom

You might be the mom of many small children if...

...you find yourself being excited that you get to go to the grocery store by yourself.

That was me today. I told Mr. Smith last night that I absolutely had to go today, and he said, "Don't take all the kids, just wait for me to get home and you can go by yourself." Isn't he dreamy?
So when he got home I put on my best pair of maternity jeans, pulled my hair back extra special-like and walked out the door with my list.
When I turned the key in my van...
it made a really yucky noise.
I called Mr. Smith from the driveway. He barely glanced at the van and said, "Your battery's dead." He was a mechanic for about 3 days a lifetime ago, you know. So just like that he diagnosed the problem. Again, dreamy. I know.
He's out there right now replacing it for me.

Did I mention I was counting on bringing dinner home from the store? We have nothing in the house. The kids are passing the time with graham crackers at this very moment.

Where do they learn these things?

With the anniversary of Roe v. Wade last Friday, I was talking to the older boys about the evils of abortion, and why we needed to say extra prayers that day. I reminded them that as horrible as it is, it is still legal in this country.
Blake asked if it is legal in other countries as well.
Before I could answer, Owen chimed in with,
"I'm sure in China, they get everything wrong."

A Wake-up Call

Owen will be making his First Communion this April. As part of the preparation, there was a meeting for parents at the church last night. We had a speaker, a woman I've known and respected for quite some time. I've heard from others over the years that not everyone shares my opinion of her. She's very well-educated, both at a secular level and in the faith, and she speaks the truth. I think she makes people uncomfortable (sometimes the truth is hard to swallow). She talked to us about the importance of bringing our children to Jesus. Taking them to Mass, receiving the Eucharist often and with reverence. I was soaking it up. Sometimes I need the obvious re-stated for me to keep me on track and aware of the big picture, and this was one of those times.
They had given us a half sheet of paper with a few questions on it, things like "what does your faith mean to you?" and "how can you help your children develop a strong relationship with Jesus?". At one point she asked us to discuss one of the questions within the groups at our tables.
I turned to the four other parents at my table, expecting to discuss the generic answers that are typical of this sort of situation. Instead, the woman across from me said, "This is so unwelcoming, this whole atmosphere. It just seems so heavy-handed and unwelcoming. I would not feel comfortable bringing someone who isn't Catholic to this." She proceeded to say that she doesn't need to be lectured about coming to Mass, and that she doesn't "buy" that Jesus would have a problem with us missing Mass because we're busy.
You could have scraped me off the floor with a spatula.
Over the next several minutes the others at the table chimed in with thoughts on how the Church in general has always had a problem with making people feel welcome, how the non-denominational churches do a much better job of that, how the readings at Mass are "fine, but they're old", and how they have a hard time relating to the priests' homilies and often "check out" during Mass.
I made a few all-too-feeble attempts to refute what they were saying. I could kick myself now for not saying more, but I was just so shocked. It was one of those moments when I can feel my face getting hot and my mind racing, but it doesn't result in immediate, coherent action from my mouth.
One of the things I did manage to get out was that these ladies who coordinate the religious education of our children and plan group sacraments have their work cut out for them. They have to figure out how best to communicate with and relate to a huge group of parents who are at all different levels of practicing their faith. They are keenly aware of the fact that every year there are children who make their First Communion, and then don't see the inside of the church again until Christmas, if even then. They have to cater to the lowest common denominator, they have to try to get through to these people who are clearly missing the point, missing the boat, and taking their children with them.
I don't think they heard me.
Aside from the pettiness of hijacking what should have been a positive moment for the sake of airing their own issues of disgruntlement, the bitterness of the message just resonates with me, even this morning.
If we are causing battles and waging war within our own community, how can we come together, or even survive, in this world that is already against us? How can we be sure our children will "get it" when they're surrounded by families who make up their own rules and practice a faith of convenience rather than doctrine? And these are people who are paying to send their children to a Catholic school, I would have expected more from them.
I left there feeling disappointed and dejected. It was a real eye-opening experience for me though, and certainly reinforces that we are making the right decision by homeschooling our children in the Faith. We have to, we must give them the best possible start at a life of faithfulness. Their eternal lives depend on it.

Simplify

I've caught a theme lately, within the blogs that I read regularly, of these good women choosing a word for 2010. A single word, a theme for the year, or motto, if you will. It didn't occur to me to choose my own, until today.

This is the scene in my living room right now: The boys asked if they could have some ice cream while they watch a cartoon. They scooped their own ice cream, and set up their "theater". They didn't ask if a friend could come over and join them. They didn't complain about store brand ice cream. They couldn't be happier, and they haven't even left our little home.

When I went to upload that photo, I found this one on the camera:
I have no idea who took it and when. Clearly, they are watching tv again. (What can I say? We have a tv and we use it. It's winter.) What caught my attention is Isaac, the baby. He doesn't sit still for more than 30 seconds at any given time in the day. Yet in these two pictures, he's lounging comfortably and contentedly. Notice that I'm nowhere in sight? It's his brothers that he chooses to chill out with. And it doesn't look to me like Peyton minds.

Then there's this one:

This is a daily occurrence. Isaac thinks that Blake is the third parent in this house. If he gets hurt, and Blake is closer than I am, he doesn't hesitate to run to him instead of me. He also firmly believes that Blake's lap belongs to him and him alone, and is available whenever he needs it. Does it look like his big brother is just itching to get rid of him? Nope. He eats it up.

These boys are happy. They don't need STUFF. I don't need STUFF. We have eachother, a roof over our heads, food to eat, and our faith to turn to.

What more could I possibly ask for?

I don't need to be over-scheduled 7 days a week to make sure we're all enjoying life.

My kids might think they want a Nintendo DS, but they don't need one. They'll survive without it. They're going to receive the most precious, and yet most simple gift of all this summer. Another brother.

So that's what I'm going to concentrate on in 2010.

Weed out the STUFF.

Simple pleasures.
Simplify.

Ooops!

Well, what do you expect? 24 was on!! It's hard to remember to post when you're engaged in the best network television show ever created
Do you watch this show? You should.
It is intense though. In fact, I stopped watching for a few seasons when Mr. Smith was in school at night. I couldn't do it on my own.
But now he's home, and he just reminds me to look away when it appears they're about to cut someone's fingers off. Or something like that.
C'mon, these are bad people, they don't deserve fingers! And they really don't need them once Jack is done with them.
Monday is moving higher (from dead last) on my list of favorite days of the week.

Growing Up

Peyton finished his first chapter book today, two weeks before his 6th birthday. He was so excited and proud! We are now the proud parents of three voracious readers.

It's a...

BOY!

A Post A Day

I need to decide if I'm keeping this blog, or abandoning it altogether. I don't like blogs that aren't posted at, often. If I click on a new blog and see that the writer only posts a couple of times a month, I'm not interested. I don't want to keep a blog that falls under that category.
So, I'm going to try something. For the next month, I will post EVERY SINGLE DAY. Do you think I can do it? Might there be a post or two that consist of one sentence at bedtime, just to get a post in? Sure. I'm still going to do it. And if I don't...well I just may give up.
My ultrasound is today! If this little peanut cooperates, we'll know by dinner if the blues are coming out of storage or if the pinks are going to try to find a place in our world of boy.
Two funny things:
1. After months of saying that we have enough boys and he wants a girl, Owen said last night that he hopes it's a boy. I asked why he changed his mind, and he whispered to me, "I didn't, but usually things happen the opposite for me, so I'm going to say it this way."
2. I heard Peyton say to his friend a couple of days ago, "We already know it's a girl, cause we got enough boys already", in the most matter-of-fact way. When I questioned him on it, he just shrugged his shoulders. I think when you're 5, and you work something out in your head that makes sense, it just becomes reality.
Either way, we'll all be thrilled. You can't go wrong with a new baby.

It's past my bedtime, but I'm still up, because...

...I have a lot to do before tomorrow. I've got energy left to do it though, because...

...my sweet husband came home from a 12 hour work day and let me walk right past him, out the door to dinner with a dear friend. Our visit left me bubbling with energy, because...

...there's nothing like a good long conversation with someone you've been missing, who understands you better than most anyone. I needed it, because...

...life is hectic and burn-out is in my midst. But I'm going to beat it before it beats me, because...

...my life rocks and I know it. For instance, I just got done baking pastries for a Christmas party tomorrow, and I can type this post guilt free, without waking up to a mess in the kitchen, because...

...at this very moment a machine is washing all my dirty dishes for me! Thank you Mr. Smith, for an awesome early Christmas present, my very first dishwasher ever. Signing off...because...

...it's past my bedtime!!!

A Visit From St. Nicholas

St. Nicholas came (on December 6th, of course) and left the boys each a new pair of slippers, a gold dollar coin, some tic tacs and a lovely little book, The Christmas Story. Here's a view of our tree:

For now, we have it decorated for Advent. We always cut our tree down ourselves, and we used to go Thanksgiving weekend every year. A few years ago, we decided to try not to jump straight to Christmas so soon, like the rest of the country does, and to work harder on observing Advent. We stopped getting the tree on the weekend of Thanksgiving. The only problem was, the further into December we got, the more hectic and busy life got, and before we knew it we were rushing out the last weekend before Christmas to squeeze in getting the tree. It felt like a chore. So this year we went back to getting it the last weekend in November, and as a compromise, decided not to put the Christmas decorations on it right away, but instead decorate it for Advent first. The boys made a paper chain of purple and pink links. The idea was to have this be our Jesse tree as well, and make wooden ornaments that we can use every year. When the ornaments weren't being made by mid-December, I knew that was off the list for this year. There's always next year...

How is a preschooler to get his work done?

In Thanksgiving

For the joy.
The laughter.
The difficulties,
that bring perspective.

The open wounds on my heart,
forever gaping, vulnerable,
as with no other earthly phenomenon.
Seven of them,
forever imprinted on my soul.

For the gratitude,
that would otherwise go unknown,
and instead envelopes my being.

For the humility,
at knowing Who gives.
Not a loss of control,
but a giving away of it.
A release of power, to the One with answers.
A relief,
to my small being, without them.
As I know,
it is His will.

For yesterday,
right now,
and the hope of forever.
And the chance to help forever come,
to those who look to me.
That I might lead them,
and then push them ahead,
far beyond my own faith,
and then follow them.
Forever.

For ever,
for life.
For motherhood.

Change: Explained

Do I have to?
Really?
I'm not enjoying the changes of my childrens' names. It's difficult to write about them when I have to check the sidebar to remember who is who.
It feels like I'm writing about another family. It's weird.
Is it the right thing to?
Probably.
It just might take some getting used to, so I'll try.
I think it'll be worth the effort.


Also, how cute is my new widget? Who knew my baby was the size of a lime?! I would have guessed he was the size of Manhattan, given the havoc he's wreaking on my body. :o)
But so worth it.


And a new house besides? New, as in the actually quite old, inadequately sized for our growing family, temporary but necessary roof we currently have over our heads. The one that's going to allow us to save and plan for our next home (dream home?) to come at some point in the next 12 to 120 months.
Also worth it.


The only constant is change, right? I sure am not bored. Change is good.

Monkey Bread

4 cans refrigerated biscuits, cut into quarters,

rolled in cinnamon and sugar, piled into bundt pan.

1 stick of butter melted with 1 cup brown sugar, poured over top of biscuits.

Baked at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.

Quickly devoured by wide-eyed children.

Speaking of change...

...life is full of them, isn't it? Too many to blog about sometimes.

For now, here is my afternoon, in a nutshell:

That is a dum dum sucker, and this is approximately 2 hours after a bath.

A Necessary Change

I had a terrible experience this week.
It had to do with my children, and it happened at a park we've been to a hundred times.
It got me thinking.
Since the beginning of this blog, I've considered many times whether or not I'm comfortable displaying my family on the internet. I like keeping this record of our daily lives, and sharing it with those of you who care to check in. I have appreciated the outlet that it has become, as I have missed the writing I once did when my hands weren't so full of babies.
However, the world is unpredictable and evil lurks, and so I have stepped onto the path that so many wise mommy-bloggers before me have taken. I have renamed my family.
And so it is, an odd thing to get used to, but the right thing to do.
May God bless us and keep us, and give us peace.

What's become of me?

I have a problem. I don't think I'm normal.
It's September. From what I understand, this means new shows on tv, and new seasons of old shows.
I don't care.*
Desperate Housewives offends me. House makes me roll my eyes. I tried to watch an episode of Grey's Anatomy once; I almost threw up. American Idol? Been there, done that, about 6 times too many.
So what am I excited about?
Football.
When I see the promos for the start of the NFL season, I get a tingly feeling in my stomach.
I'm even kind of holding a grudge against someone who suggested the other day that the Lions aren't worth watching anymore.
There's not much I enjoy more than coming home from Mass on Sunday and curling up on the couch with my hubby to watch the games. This year, it will be with the chicken wings we discovered.
How did this happen to me? Was I destined to develop this boy-like quality? Or is this a result of the gender imbalance in my household?
Speaking of Mr. Smith, he says this makes me the coolest wife ever.
I guess maybe it's not such a problem after all.


*I'm certainly not claiming to be one of those good people who don't watch any tv. I do. I even enjoy The Biggest Loser and will be watching that this season, starting tonight. Just please do not ask me what I think about whatever happened on the 307th season of Big Brother last night. I feel yucky just typing the name of that one.

Safety First

I caught Isaac walking around with a pencil in his hand, which everyone in the house knows is not allowed.
Not to worry though. The big boys pointed out that he also had Owen's safety glasses on.
That he did.
Well then, carry on.

Life

Last night, or rather this morning, somewhere near 1:00am, I was awakened by my nursling needing his mama. A normal nightly occurance, except this time with more urgency, as the congestion from his cold had settled in somewhere between his nose and his chest, making breathing and nursing difficult.


As I was pulled out of my peaceful slumber, I felt a pang of pity for myself, knowing this was likely the beginning of a long night.


Then I thought of Colleen. A woman I do not know, but for whom my heart breaks.


I discovered her blog ages ago, when we were both moms to a mere four boys, or so, a piece. Then it was five, and then, for her, six. A "band of brothers", so like the one dear to me.


I scooped up my baby and brought him out to the living room. I wiped his nose, cuddled him, and marveled at the wonder of a baby, so dependent on his mama. Caring for him, at all hours, is a small sacrifice for the reward of being his earthly mother.


As I nursed him, I thought of her again. How she must be producing milk, for a baby she can no longer put to her breast; her body needing to catch up with the stark reality of her loss.


And those brothers... Oh how I ache when I think of those brothers.


But are they not better off for having had him, even for such a short time, and at such a cost of grief?


I cradled my own for hours, without a care for the clock, even as 4:00am approached, intermittantly praying for her, and thanking for me.

A sleepless night, but a blessing, another night together.

Tree Climbing

There's a tree in my mom's front yard. The boys have really taken to climbing it.
Blake's gotten pretty good at it.


Maybe a little too good.

It makes them very happy.

And that makes me happy too.

Parenting Advice

Peyton: (wandering around with one sock in his hand) "Mama, I think you should teach us to be good and to find our socks when we need them."

I wonder if those are of equal importance.

Dance with me

video courtesy of Blake
What's cuter?
-The baby trying desperately to shake his little booty like the big boys? Or,
-The pure joy from the big boy watching his baby brother?
Also,
What's more pathetic?
-The fact that their room really was (is?) that messy? Or,
-The fact that I would shamelessly display the mess on my blog?
hmmmmm...